Divorce Mediation: Decision-making that suit you and others.
Divorce and separation is a stressful time. Making important decisions can be difficult. Divorce Mediation can help ease this. In fact, the basic purpose of divorce mediation is to help people make sound decisions.
Have you ever made an “impulse purchase”? Made a decision that really didn’t make any sense? Of course you have; we all have. Lots of research out there suggests a reason for this. It seems that humans are more likely to make decisions based on their “emotions”, rather than “logic”. This is based on neuroscience research into how the human brain works. I won’t go into a lot of detail. Research tells us that during the decision-making process, how we feel about things usually takes control before we can how we think about things can take over. This probably goes back to our basic survival instinct.
Negative emotions, such as fear or anger are powerful. But no more powerful than love or happiness. The question is; how to best control these emotions so that correct decisions can be made. Here are a few suggestions.
- Take a short break. Don’t be pressured. Very few decisions need immediate response. Allow yourself walk away. To think. You can always come back.
- Focus on what you need….not what you want. Ask yourself important questions. Why do I want to make this decision? What is the worst thing that could happen if don’t make this decision? What’s the best thing? Is there a better option? Is this decision in the best interest for me, or for everyone?
- Identify your emotions. What are you feeling at this moment? Making a decision to spite someone else is just as dangerous as making a decision to make yourself feel better. Having emotions is natural. We are suppose to have emotions. But it is important to accept these emotions and be responsible for them. Emotions are only part of the decision. Emotions should not be the only reason. There needs to be logical reasons as well.
Remember when facing important decisions, separate emotional thoughts so you can focus on logical thoughts. Once you have clarified your logical thoughts, then you can add your emotions. If both your logical and emotional thoughts are in balance: then you have made the correct decision.